INFJ+INFJ?

[laffeytaffey]

What do you guys think? Can two INFJs be in a successful relationship? So far it seems that the answer is yes. We understand each other so well... But, I hear that if you're too similar to the other, one of you will get bored quickly. He disagrees with me and says that he couldn't possibly ever get bored of me, but I want your opinions and/or stories. Thanks guys!

[myst]

Congratulations!

[Dragon]

It depends on the INFJs. Yes, it is possible, but don't think that because you are both INFJ that being INFJ will magically make your relationship successful.

I don't think that you'll get bored, but you may have to modify your expectations so many months in.

[TheDaringHatTrick]

Before I launch into my story, the disclaimer I'd like to put out here is that I think it depends on the two people involved and what they want from the relationship.

My best guy friend is some weird INFJ/INTJ hybrid, and while he's shown interest in me once upon a time, I can't honestly say that I could've seen us working. Don't get me wrong, he is a pretty good looking, smart, and very nice guy, but I know myself... I need someone who can get me out of my usual routine to try new things. Challenge my perspective. Go different places. Otherwise I know we'd get too comfortable doing the things that are most comfortable to us. And its not necessarily because I would get bored of one another; on the contrary, I think we'd be quite easy to stay content with one another. We might even get married because it would be sailing so well. But we wouldn't really grow as people.

Then again, I'm almost exclusively attracted to ENTP or ENTJ types... Woe is me.

[laffeytaffey]

Thanks! lol.

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by Dragon

It depends on the INFJs. Yes, it is possible, but don't think that because you are both INFJ that being INFJ will magically make your relationship successful.

I don't think that you'll get bored, but you may have to modify your expectations so many months in.

Interesting... Nah. I know better than to think our relationship will be maigically successful. It takes dedication, giving and taking you know? I know that I won't get bored! So, we shall see...

[randomsomeone]

After raising four great kids and twenty years of singleness, I have to say I have no clue whatsoever about relationships. My last clues seemed to have evaporated ten years ago as my heart slowly turned into a solid block of ice. That said....I do heartily cheer for true love, so best of luck!!!!!

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by TheDaringHatTrick

Before I launch into my story, the disclaimer I'd like to put out here is that I think it depends on the two people involved and what they want from the relationship.

My best guy friend is some weird INFJ/INTJ hybrid, and while he's shown interest in me once upon a time, I can't honestly say that I could've seen us working. Don't get me wrong, he is a pretty good looking, smart, and very nice guy, but I know myself... I need someone who can get me out of my usual routine to try new things. Challenge my perspective. Go different places. Otherwise I know we'd get too comfortable doing the things that are most comfortable to us. And its not necessarily because I would get bored of one another; on the contrary, I think we'd be quite easy to stay content with one another. We might even get married because it would be sailing so well. But we wouldn't really grow as people.

Then again, I'm almost exclusively attracted to ENTP or ENTJ types... Woe is me.

Thank you so much for telling me your story! I'm pretty confident and it's nice to know that he is as well. It's pretty easy to make me happy and I know he can do the job very well. And, I suppose I don't really hold up high standards, you know? I believe in the whole love and be loved concept I suppose. *crosses fingers and hopes for the best*

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by randomsomeone

After raising four great kids and twenty years of singleness, I have to say I have no clue whatsoever about relationships. My last clues seemed to have evaporated ten years ago as my heart slowly turned into a solid block of ice. That said....I do heartily cheer for true love, so best of luck!!!!!

Aww! *pats your hand* Thank you for that! I don't know about true love - when does one know that the other is just RIGHT for them? Only time will tell. Just you wait, someone is going to walk into your life when you least expect it. I certainly wasn't expecting him, you know? *smiles*

[randomsomeone]

Originally Posted by laffeytaffey

*smiles*

Not to worry, dearie. There is an element of comedy to the whole thing and I am content. Love is a wonderful thing.

[Tamagochi]

I say you can ignore the recommendations on type compatibility and get with whatever your heart desires. I've dated INFJs and it was a very good experience. The only "problem" is that standard tactics do not work on them as they see you through. Being INFJ yourself you're probably not used to it Scientific studies show that attraction for most couples is based on similarity.

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by Tamagochi

I say you can ignore the recommendations on type compatibility and get with whatever your heart desires. I've dated INFJs and it was a very good experience. The only "problem" is that standard tactics do not work on them as they see you through. Being INFJ yourself you're probably not used to it Scientific studies show that attraction for most couples is based on similarity.

Thanks! That was rather helpful!

[Questingpoet]

I have never been with an INFJ, so I can't say from first-hand experience. I will tell you what my mind and my Ni think on the subject though. First, as has already been said, the individuals involved certain play a deciding role on whether it's a good match. You cannot base something so complicted as love and relationships, solely on the shoulders of the MBTI classifications.

With that being said, I feel that INFJ to INFJ is probably more often than not a good match. We work hard at relationships, are very empathic towards others, and desire deep connections. Extreme introversion could be an issue there. The "opposites attract" theory is BS in my book. Yes, people want a little variety and mystery in their life. But the best matches are where people have plenty in common, and where they understand each other.

[smiffy]

long story short! fuck MBTI!!! try not get ahead of yourself and find out by spending time with the person if it will work or not!

[mooseman]

Love is real. MBTI is an abstraction. Go with Love I say.

[solongotgon]

Compatibility will be great and you will get into a "comfortable" zone. But after two years you will get bored if the other INFJ is not up for trying new things....Good Luck

Plus its all about the type of relationship/lifestyle you want with that person. You don't want to be in a relationship that does not help you grow...and from my experience most INFJs grow from being exposed to other types.

It's a catch 22. InFJ's love comfort and understanding, but you will desire something different...or at least I did. The understanding and comfort does not make for an exciting relationship...unless you are very stable and mature person.

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by Questingpoet

I have never been with an INFJ, so I can't say from first-hand experience. I will tell you what my mind and my Ni think on the subject though. First, as has already been said, the individuals involved certain play a deciding role on whether it's a good match. You cannot base something so complicted as love and relationships, solely on the shoulders of the MBTI classifications.

With that being said, I feel that INFJ to INFJ is probably more often than not a good match. We work hard at relationships, are very empathic towards others, and desire deep connections. Extreme introversion could be an issue there. The "opposites attract" theory is BS in my book. Yes, people want a little variety and mystery in their life. But the best matches are where people have plenty in common, and where they understand each other.

Hmm... I think you're very right about the opposites attracted being BS. At least, they may become attracted out of curiosity, but then they regret it do to the differences. That's what happened with my last relationship. He was very opposite to me, but we had been friends for many years and had some in common. I like that is wonderful guy I was talking about appreciates me as a person and actually likes it when I speak my mind, you know?

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by smiffy

long story short! fuck MBTI!!! try not get ahead of yourself and find out by spending time with the person if it will work or not!

*laughs* Thanks! I certainly plan on it! :P

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by mooseman

Love is real. MBTI is an abstraction. Go with Love I say.

As I say, time will tell. *looks hopeful*

[laffeytaffey]

Originally Posted by solongotgon

Compatibility will be great and you will get into a "comfortable" zone. But after two years you will get bored if the other INFJ is not up for trying new things....Good Luck

Plus its all about the type of relationship/lifestyle you want with that person. You don't want to be in a relationship that does not help you grow...and from my experience most INFJs grow from being exposed to other types.

It's a catch 22. InFJ's love comfort and understanding, but you will desire something different...or at least I did. The understanding and comfort does not make for an exciting relationship...unless you are very stable and mature person.

*Grins* I am a rather mature person. I DO love comfort and understanding, but I also love adventure you know? I think he feels the same way, so that's good.